Long Day's Journey Into Night

Have you ever had a whole day pretty much planned out, but as the day progressed your plans went straight out that proverbial window? Today was one of those days. My boyfriend Msh and I woke up this morning with plans to go to the Farmer's Market in downtown New Orleans. He was determined to buy eggplants at a reasonable price instead of the $3/eggplant you get at Super Wal-Mart or our local Winn-Dixie. He was awake at 6:30 this morning. He was a man with a plan apparently. I was not. I stayed in bed till about 8:30 or so.

We ended up not leaving the house till 11 this morning. We went to the bank and then out to the Farmer's Market in the Warehouse/Art district. When we got there, the market was not actually there. The parking lot where they usually have it in was full of cars. Bitches! We then prepared for plan B which was to visit our friend Lindy, whom I've mentioned before in my Panic Room entry. He was doing laundry at Flebbies' house. I can't get into all that because it would take up a lot of space on my blog and I don't want to do that.

So we meet up with Lindy at Flebbie's new pad, and I'm mildy suprised that she has managed to keep it somewhat neat. Bets are still out on how long that will last, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

From there, we walked a few blocks to Port of Call, which is a local restaurant that serves the best burgers in the city. If you are ever in New Orleans, go there for a REALLY good burger. While sitting at our table, we saw our friend Vinny riding by on his bike. We called him up and he joined us for lunch. Afterwards, we dropped by Steve-o's place and talked for a short while. Steve-o eventually kicked us out because he had to go with his daughters to visit his mom.

From Steve-o's we went to Napoleon's Itch, a gay bar that is not frequented very often. I think it has great potential to be a sit-down bar to go to after a night of drinking and just chill. It could even be cool if was a starting point before going out, but it's awkwardly structured.

Eventually, Flebbie joined us after work, but by that time Lindy was bordering on being obnoxiously drunk. Maybe it wasn't even that. Maybe it was that Flebbie was joining us and they do not bring the best out in each other. I tend to believe the latter.

Msh and I ended up taking Vinny home because we couldn't fit his bike in the trunk of my car. While in the car, and this is really the point of me writing this whole long story, we started discussing Vinny's current status with his boyfriend. He told us he hasn't had sex with him since they began seeing each other two months ago. I don't believe there's anything wrong with that. However, I do believe that there's something not right when Vinny has tried to initiate sex and his bf has rebuffed him for doing so.

There's a whole story to Vinny's bf. It seems that he previously dated someone who was not employed, as Vinny is now, and he basically sponged off of him. So, he made this deal with himself that he would hold off on sex until he made sure things were not going down that treacherous heartbreaking and expensive road. I can't blame the guy. Shit though....two fucking months?! I know Vinny's balls are blue. He'll even admit to it.

Before getting out of my car tonight Vinny was saying that he was not going to talk to his bf about this whole no-sex issue. Actually, it's not so much that he doesn't want to talk to him, because he does, it's just that he's not wanting to talk to him about it and then have pangs of guilt coming from his bf afterwards. I want to give bf more credit than he's being given. I believe he's intelligent and reasonable enough to know how to take in all this information.

I believe, and Vinny knows it too, that he's afraid of looking foolish. Well, who the hell wants to look foolish? I wouldn't want to either. My problem with this whole not talking is two-fold. I believe that the bf does deserve to know what is on Vinny's mind before Vinny takes matters into his own hands (i.e. seeing other people). I also believe that in order for Vinny to grow as an individual he needs to realize that being one half of a couple means being able to talk to one another about what's bugging you.

I understand what Vinny is feeling. Not only is he feeling frustrated sexually, he's also feeling frustrated not knowing what is expected of him from his bf. In the end, Vinny is a grown man and he'll do what he pleases. I'll respect whatever decision he makes. I just hope he does what's best for him and not worry about guilt or embarassment. This guy really likes Vinny. He calls him all the time every single day. Vinny says they haven't said anything about exclusivity, but if you call someone several times during the day every day like bf does, then chances are you are not seeing anyone else.

My rule has always been this...if someone thinks you are worth the time, then they will make the time to call and see you. If that sentiment was not in bf's mind, then why the fuck would he be calling Vinny all the time? Hence, it wouldn't be fair to bf for Vinny to not say anything and then start seeing other guys no matter how "understood" that rule is in this situation. There's never a good time to talk to anyone about what's bothering you, but if he cares enough about bf, then he'll have the courtesy to talk to him about not getting the "sex." Am I making sense or have I been repeating myself? I tend to do that. I hope I made sense.

UPDATE
They broke up. Not my fault. I promise. Vinny did try talking to him, but bf was ready to talk too. He actually told Vinny,"It's not you, it's me." Sad little man!

I'm proud of Vinny because he tried talking. YAY, Vinny!!!