Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Omen

You know what I just realized? Tom Cruise's spawn is scheduled to hatch "some time" in April. Is it a coincidence that Mission Impossible III(let's make it a classy sequel with the Roman numerals) premieres May 5th?

I. Don't. Think. So.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Roller Boogie

Cheez! It's what the body needs.

I love me some cheez. I especially love me some Cheez-tastic movies. One of my all time, and I do mean all time, favorite Cheez-tastic movies is ROLLER BOOGIE. If you have not checked it out, then you should. Where else can you see Linda Blair set fashion trends (reversible belt), skate her little heart out, and act badly(yet, again)?

My friend, Michael, sent me the following video of Cher singing one of the featured songs in the movie's soundtrack. Totally Gay! Totally Cher! Redundant, I know.

"Well I'm hell on wheels I'm a rollah mama
I can slide down places that you never knew

Try me on for size at the

If you tie my laces then I'll follow you.. Follow you... follow you

When you see the video you'll see that all the men in it are gay. They're not noticing Cher, they're just cruising. One might say she's just the MC of the festivities. I swear there are even a few drag queens in there.

Oh to have skated in the 70s! *sigh*

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


I was getting my daily dose of Pop News on Popwatch at, when I read that Xanadu is on its way to becoming a musical. First, Grey Gardens and now Xanadu! What more could a gay man want?!

On a side note, I saw this on my friend's blog. The result, as you read the ending of this entry is purely an unusually, yet somewhat funny correct connection to me. Not really. Really.

Is your personality a firey one? Are you perhaps a little explosive in the mornings? This magical test aims to give you the appropriate warning label to display to your friends. Wether you are annoyed by cigarette smoke, a little radioactive, or about to fall into a hole, this test will give you and your friends some idea about that part of our personality they need to look out for! This test has taken off like wildfire. Don't be the last to warn your friends!

Thanks missfrecklehead/Cecily

Look out for the

Sunday, March 26, 2006

The Horror Within

Um, yes, my name, I don't know what my name is. Who is this man sitting next to me? Why am I here?

Oh wait! My name is Katie Holmes! Holy crap! I'm being held hostage on my own free will because I want a bigger career, but why are they drugging me into submission? Oh! I know! It's because of ...

...him! The evil man that I sold my soul to one year ago this coming April!

*sniff, sniff* They're taking me away again! Don't you people see I just have a pillow under my sweater and fabulous white trench? I'm a good Catholic girl I am. He's not even planning on marrying me because our contract is only for one year. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

You've Got Mail

Hell to the nah!

Actually, I don't get the mail I want. All I want are my darned magazines. Is that too much to ask?

Everyday, when I get home, I leave and lock my car. I begin the long walk from my car to my mailbox. As I approach the entrance of my building, my breathe catches in my throat and my heart races in anticipation of finding my beloved Entertainment Weekly/Advocate/Real Simple in my mailbox.

I walk to my mailbox. I put my key in the lock. I open it and there, after six months of torture, sits an empty mailbox space.

I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my mail can't! I wanna know Whhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyy?????????????? (Steel Magnolias...remixed) I don't think I can take this! I just want to *hit* somebody to make them feel as badly as I do!

Why are the mail gods so cruel?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Sum of all Fears

I'm glad McDonald's stopped carrying these. There's just something innately wrong with a cup-o-salad that you shake after you put dressing on it. It's just wrong I tell you! Wrong! Plus it freaks me out just this much.

Monday, March 20, 2006

High Fidelity II

More music that I've been listening to:

  • L-O-V-E - Fisher
  • Life in Mono - Mono
  • These Words - Natasha Bedingfield
  • Roller Boogie - Bob Esty
  • Kara Saun's fashion week runway music...available online
  • Alphabet St. - Prince

Read Window

Every Monday morning around 3 a.m. without fail there is a garbage truck that comes to empty the huge ass cannister/thingy right outside my bedroom window. This terrible practice has been going on for over a year, but I haven't bothered to call anyone to complain because I'm usually able to fall asleep right afterward.

However, these last few weeks, that damned truck startles me out of a sound sleep EVERY MONDAY MORNING and I can't fall back asleep for quite some time. I called the company that hires the driver and complained two weeks ago.

Me: Hi, um, yes, I live in the condos behind the 2800 block of Dickory...

Dispatcher at garbage co.: Yeah

Me: Well, um, it used to be that one of your people would come in his truck around 4 or 5 in the morning, but lately he's been clanging his garbage can much earlier than that.

Dispatcher: Yeah, ok, I'll tell him to pick up later.

Me: *feeling totally used and somewhat abused* Um, ok, thanks.

Naturally, fast forward to a week later and he's back picking up only 45 minutes later than he did before. I asked a co-worker of mine who's husband is a policeman what I could do. He told her that I should call the 911 and say that it was not an emergency. So, here I am, one week later and I am awake again because the DAMNED GARBAGE MAN came to pick up early. However, this time I called 911. As luck would have it, no one answered my 911 call and I just hung up.

Fifteen minutes later, I had a soft knock on my door. I rushed out of bed and looked through my peephole. There, standing outside my door, were three police officers...two male (one FINE one to the point of Porno Fantasy) and a lady officer. I opened my door and apologized profusely saying that on the advice of another police officer I was told to call 911. The lady officer had a very understanding look on her face, but it was a cross with understanding and "what a goof this guy is for calling us here" kinda face. You know? Fake sympathy mixed with "what an Idiot" looks. Then *HOT* policeman asked if I'd called the company to which I replied a resounding yes. He then said they would be paying a call to the garbage company. END SCENE.

Now I'm wide awake and a bit startled and I can't fall asleep. I hope that bastard doesn't pick up his garbage early next week because I may have to go out and tell him something. Probably not knowing me. UGH! I hate he of the big truck and little sensitivity to my sleep!!!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

I Love You to Death

I love you to death, Darren McGavin! I was sad to hear that Mr. McGavin died on February 25th and that all the attention he got in the media outlets were small afterthoughts considering Don Knotts died a day earlier.

Mr. McGavin was never *that* well known. I first noticed him in one of the GREATEST of the CHEESIEST of all disaster flix "Airport 77". He played Stan Buchek who was an engineer with Stevens Airlines and a friend of Captain Don Gallagher played by Jack Lemmon. He, along with the rest of the cast, brought some levity to an otherwise unbelievable movie. (Trust me unbelievable in a bad way) A Boeing 747 crashes into the Pacific and not one bit of its cabin breaks! Then it all sinks to the bottom of the ocean because there was a breach in one of the cargo holds. Hmmm, it could happen!

If you want to see what a laserdisc looks like take a look at the scene right before the plane takes off. Also, here's a six degrees of Golden Girls. Well, maybe only one...Monte Markham who plays the banker in this movie also played Blanche's gay brother in two episodes of the Golden Girls.

Ahem, anyway, I believe his real claim to fame came with his appearance in "A Christmas Story".

He played Ralphie's old man. He's literally billed as"the Old Man." Ralphie was played by Peter Billingsley and his mom by Melinda Dillon. It's a wonderful holiday movie. A classic all it's own for showing how children interact with one another and their parents. As silly as it is, it all rings true because the actors, especially the children, are that good in it. He plays the perfect dad. He's stern, but loving at the same time. You can tell that he truly loves his family. He was the best! I'll miss you Darren McGavin!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

High Fidelity

Let it be known that I don't practice making top "anything" lists, but I changed my mind. Here are my current Top 10 songs to listen to in the car in no particular order:
  1. La Cienega - Ryan Adams
  2. South Side - Moby
  3. Sorry - Madonna
  4. Someone to Call My Lover - Janet Jackson
  5. The "L Word" Theme - Betty
  6. Where You Lead - Carol King
  7. Perfect Day - Duran Duran (remake of Lou Reed song)
  8. There Must Be An Angel - Eurythmics
  9. You Got It All - The Jets
  10. If You Were Here - The Thompson Twins

What Lies Beneath

I am home from work today because of Mardi Gras, not because I'm playing hooky, and I watched Oprah on my local station. A while back my sister mentioned to me that no matter who Oprah is interviewing, she always turns it around and inevitably makes it about her. I was looking forward to watching today's show because Oprah was interviewing Meg Ryan. I really liked Meg Ryan...pre-collagen lips and botox injections. Have you all seen her lately? Ewww!

Anyway, the interview was going on nicely until Oprah asked Meg about fame and the tabloids. Meg went on to say that she basically ignored or did not read what was printed about her. Without skipping a beat, Oprah turned it all around and had to mention how she does not read the tabloids and how it affects her because her own employees talk about what's being said about her at the water cooler.

Honestly! It's not *all* about you, Oprah! I know you make lots of money. I know you are extremely charitable and you've given lots of money, but it doesn't always have to have an undercurrent about you running through it all the time. I know. Your show is called Oprah after all, but still. Give it a rest with your truth!

Two Postscripts here:

  • Around the last ten minutes or so of Meg's interview, Ms. O did a piece on Meg's spiritual trip to India (featured in "O" magazine this month, btw). Do I even have to say anymore? Ms. O had to mention her leadership school for girls she is personally overseeing in Africa. Great for the girls in that African country, bad timing for a plug about your charitable work. The moment was all about Meg and not you Ms. O. *sigh*

  • The second half hour Ms. O had Lucy Liu and her video about Pakistan and the earthquake that killed many. Lucy Liu was looking like she'd been spared Ms. O's truth, when at the last minute, before thanking her, she began comparing Pakistan's experience with her own personal 9/11 experience and how *she*felt about it. Pitiful.