Rear Window

Every Monday morning around 3 a.m. without fail there is a garbage truck that comes to empty the huge ass cannister/thingy right outside my bedroom window. This terrible practice has been going on for over a year, but I haven't bothered to call anyone to complain because I'm usually able to fall asleep right afterward.

However, these last few weeks, that damned truck startles me out of a sound sleep EVERY MONDAY MORNING and I can't fall back asleep for quite some time. I called the company that hires the driver and complained two weeks ago.

Me: Hi, um, yes, I live in the condos behind the 2800 block of Dickory...

Dispatcher at garbage co.: Yeah

Me: Well, um, it used to be that one of your people would come in his truck around 4 or 5 in the morning, but lately he's been clanging his garbage can much earlier than that.

Dispatcher: Yeah, ok, I'll tell him to pick up later.

Me: *feeling totally used and somewhat abused* Um, ok, thanks.

Naturally, fast forward to a week later and he's back picking up only 45 minutes later than he did before. I asked a co-worker of mine who's husband is a policeman what I could do. He told her that I should call the 911 and say that it was not an emergency. So, here I am, one week later and I am awake again because the DAMNED GARBAGE MAN came to pick up early. However, this time I called 911. As luck would have it, no one answered my 911 call and I just hung up.

Fifteen minutes later, I had a soft knock on my door. I rushed out of bed and looked through my peephole. There, standing outside my door, were three police officers...two male (one FINE one to the point of Porno Fantasy) and a lady officer. I opened my door and apologized profusely saying that on the advice of another police officer I was told to call 911. The lady officer had a very understanding look on her face, but it was a cross with understanding and "what a goof this guy is for calling us here" kinda face. You know? Fake sympathy mixed with "what an Idiot" looks. Then *HOT* policeman asked if I'd called the company to which I replied a resounding yes. He then said they would be paying a call to the garbage company. END SCENE.

Now I'm wide awake and a bit startled and I can't fall asleep. I hope that bastard doesn't pick up his garbage early next week because I may have to go out and tell him something. Probably not knowing me. UGH! I hate he of the big truck and little sensitivity to my sleep!!!