The Thorn Birds, Oh My!

Is it just me, or is it hawt up in here!?

I'm having a Thorn Birds' moment. This is Fr. Jonathan Morris and he's a talking head on Fox News. Too bad.

Coming Attractions

My Favorite Things list.

The Little Yellow House and Being A Tourist in N.O.

MILK (not Mother I'd Like To Kiss, please!)

Streaming 2.0

My principal, who is known for being offensive, recently made a comment about the immigrant population in our school. While trying to be fair and concerned, she also inadvertently slips and sticks both feet in her mouth.

Principal: ...we need to help our children from other countries. We should be more sensitive to their plight. It is unfair that they recently got off the plane,...

Co-worker next to me: She's not gonna go there, right?

Me: No, she wouldn't.

Principal: ...or off the boat when they get here...

Co-worker next to me: Oh No She Didn't!

Me: Oh yeah she did. (both of us giggled uncontrollably)

• Did anyone catch Oprah on 30 Rock? Good for you! Good for you!

• What's the deal with bitchy women? I like women, not in that way, but I like them. Seriously, though, why do they have to be such complainers and whiners. Maybe it's just the ones I work with.Ugh!!

• I love cough syrup with codeine. Don't you? It chills you ever so slightly. Oh yeah, and it takes your cough away for about 4 hours.

• I finally received my letter to go to the Teacher of the Year dinner, and I went Wednesday night. My neighbor also got the same letter because she was the last person to receive her certificate that night. Afterwards, I went up to her and introduced myself even though we grunted HELLO at one another quite a few times in the parking lot at home. She had NO CLUE. None. Zilch. I had to say I lived in 3A for it to even dawn on her. I saw her this evening leaving her apt. and apparently she felt weird about not knowing me and she still felt embarrassed about it all. Funny, no?
• Something not so funny. Another teacher telling your students to be quiet even though we are in close proximity of one another. It's not the first time it's happened. It's the second and I think, and hope, it'll be the last time. Here's how I took care of it.
  

Me: Oh, hey listen. Thanks for telling my kids to be quiet. My voice is shot today because of my cold, and I wasn't being my usual self.

Repeat Offender: Well, I know. I hope you don't mind, but...

Me: Actually, I do mind, but thanks because I just wasn't up to it today.

Repeat Offender: (Nervous laughter) I see, well...I ...OK.

Do you think it'll stop? Probably not, but I let her know how I felt. Good for me! Good for me!

Carlos's Book Club 1

Even though my endorsement won't net this author gads of money, at least it'll make me feel better that I am promoting her work.

Honestly, she's not much of a writer, but I still like her.

She's Julie Andrews.

While her sentences are simple enough, I can still hear her in her writing. It's probably because I've seen The Sound of Music so many times that I am able to imitate her voice in my head as she narrates her memoir, Home, to me. She goes into interesting detail about her voice lessons, her technique, and what goes into developing a character as an actor. She also gives some juicy tidbits about Rex Harrison, Noel Coward, Bing Crosby, Rodgers & Hammerstein, and many others. I haven't finished reading it yet, but I'm sort of delaying the inevitable because I don't want to let her go. I suppose that's a good sign.

My P.-.Y Needs A Wig

I apologize if this happens to be a repeat, but I saw it on BBC America, and I had to post it.

I love this cat's name, Chicken. I'd say not for putting on this wig.


This is my favorite. The pose. The look. The wig.

He's smiling with his eyes and conveying a look of "Why???" at the same time, no?


I'll write more about my weekend later. I had a great time in the Marigny at the Little Yellow House run by Angela and Russ.

Kayaks and Such

I'd planned this for quite some time now, but my exodus out of New Orleans last Sunday kept me from following through. While there were no people in need of jeans or kayaks this go round, I know Celine's heart will always go on for the citizens of New Orleans.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...Celine Dion.

A Snippet of a Dark Knight

I was reading reviews about Christian Bale's Dark Knight and the voice that Vincent also found annoying, and this was my favorite review:

Reviewing the film for MSNBC, Alonso Duralde wrote that Bale's Batman in "Batman Begins" "sounded absurdly deep, like a 10-year-old putting on an `adult' voice to make prank phone calls. This time, Bale affects an eerie rasp, somewhat akin to Brenda Vaccaro doing a Miles Davis impression."

Bless Alonso for mentioning Brenda Vaccaro. Genius.

Holla At Your Boy!

This one goes out to Vincent whom I'm sure will cream something when he sees this.

Favorite Clips

Lookout Bobby Brown!





Annuale. Once a year. Period.

Fiftysomething

THEN


NOW

Thirtysomething

Speaking of 80's TV. Anyone remember this one?



Turns out my sister and I were both hot for Ken Olin. I didn't know until much later, but it still doesn't make it less weird.

I remember sitting in my bedroom watching this show on Tuesday nights at 9pm, I believe, and dreaming and wanting to be like these people. If I'm not wrong this was an episode that I related to the best at that time. Melissa and Ellyn two single girls wanting their perfect man. I wanted someone, but I didn't know it was a man yet. Not quite. Seriously. Maybe it was Ellyn's manly, raspy voice. I dunno. It's sexy.

Miami, Miami, you've got style...

I hope Estelle Getty is sunning herself on a beach somewhere with a smile on her face, and Michael Kors is crying in a corner somewhere. He still has three Golden Girls left to talk about.

Thanks for the memories..

WWJD? (What Would Jane Do?)

Isn't that the question for all time?

What would she do? We don't know what Jane Austen would have done, unfortunately.

However, I can picture her being a hopeful young woman possibly putting all her hopes and dreams into her books. While I don't think she was ever persuaded to refuse someone's love because of his rank in society, I can't help but think that she may have loved someone as deeply as Anne Elliot loved Captain Wentworth in Persuasion.

In this novel, and I assume in her other novels too, her characters are all about self-control and delayed gratification, especially the women. The women have opinions they don't share out loud. They may no share them with their husbands either. The men could inherit their father's estate, but the women had a dowry to entice an appropriate suitor. I loved how Anne tries to explain the difference between men and women towards the end of the book...

"...We certainly do not forget you, so soon as you forget us. It is perhaps, our fate rather than our merit. We cannot help ourselves. We live at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us. You are forced on exertion. You have always a profession, pursuits, business of some sort or other, to take you back into the world immediately, and continual occupation and change soon weaken impressions."

Although it may be Anne speaking, it's Jane Austen's mind putting those words on paper. I find it rather courageous of her to say such things at a time when women were no more than decorative delicate china.

If you're looking to start reading Jane Austen, I would begin with Persuasion. It's not too long and it's a story we all know. Boy meets girl. Boy breaks up with girl and they spend quite some time apart. Boy comes back to girl. Boy marries girl. Enjoy!

Persuasion

I was having a conversation with a colleague of mine the other day about reading. We weren't talking about students, but, instead, we were talking about the two of us.

I have a tough time reading. I don't have the patience to sit for long periods of time and pay attention to any book. My mind tends to wander. Her experience is the same. The sad truth is that we have a hard time reading and yet we're teachers. More than one person has heard me say that I'm not a reader, but I'm trying. I started reading again back in October, and I can't seem to stop doing it now. It still takes me longer than anyone else, but I try to set some time during the day to stop and read at least two chapters. I have persuaded myself into reading more. I know it'll be a good thing. I love it already.

I'm currently reading Persuasion by Jane Austen ( I finally get her writing. It only took a whole book to get there, but I get her.)



My summer reading list:
Audition by Barbara Walters
Home by Julie Andrews
The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin
Finding Battlestar Galactic by Lynette Porter, David Lavery & Hillary Robson
Ordinary People by Judith Guest

It's quite ambitious, but wish me luck.

Any suggestions? (I'm afraid I won't get any, but I'm trying anyway.)

He Look-a Like-a Man

I knew going to JC Penney's would be a bad idea, but I thought I would give it a try. People must be shopping there again because there seems to be more merchandise on the racks than in years past. This is not where this story is going, but I thought I should mention it in case someone was interested.

Shopping for my father, I find, is a difficult task. He has all the electronics someone may need or want and he's not too fancy with his other tastes. So, this year, I asked what he would like for Father's Day. He wanted socks. Not just any socks. Not Goldtoe. Not dress socks. Not white athletic socks. Just white cotton socks that are not too thick and too hot for summer wear. The socks he wanted were to be found at JC Penney.

There I was, on a Friday night of all times, waiting in line to buy three packs of socks for my father when an older lady caught my attention by speaking to me. She looked like Joan Rivers because of the taught face and the restylane enhanced lips. She was a quite the sight. One might say she had a whole lot of look going on, but I applaud her for trying.

She said, "Excuse me, you look like a man. What do you think of this shirt?"

The shirt was brown with a large centered picture of a large mouth bass on it that said Gone Fishing on it. I was more offended by the shirt than I was by the "Excuse me, you look like a man" comment.

I answered honestly, "I don't like it, but that's just me."

Clearly no liking my opinion, she loudly calls her 40-something year old daughter over to explain to her that "this man", meaning me, didn't like the shirt. The daughter looks me over and says, "Of course you wouldn't like that. You're preppy. Look at him. He's a prep." She didn't say it with a tone, but I didn't like the words that were spoken.

So, after much chatter amongst them, the daughter finally decided on the same shirt only in navy.

I don't know. I wasn't insulted, but I wasn't flattered either. I tried helping, but you can't help someone who thinks a shirt with a large fish on it is attractive.

Streaming

• Two weeks until summer vacation and this summer I may actually see the beach. At last!
• A big F*%K YOU to the tickety tacky hot tranny/stripper mess parent who gives me shade every frakking day when I try to put her child in her car at the end of the school day.
• I hate LOST yet I watch it every week. By the way, where do the islanders find an endless supply of clothes that never repeat?
  
• I love the CUT BLOG over at New York Magazine online. It's for sure not theoretical physics.
• Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory is 35! Who knew?! Not me.
  
• I recommend reading The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan. Despite it's focus on two different generations of Asian women, it manages to speak the truth about families of any culture.
• Tyra you so crazy for putting your face on a picture of the Mona Lisa and then putting it on your Tyra Mail cards. When in Rome...
• Oprah, you meany, made Baba Waba cry on her show which then made me tear up. You suck harpO! Good interview though. Ugh!
  
• My new favorite song by The Ting Tings -"Shut Up and Let Me Go" It has an 80s vibe.

I Don't Care - I'm Nuts - or - Both

Earlier this evening, I was over at my parents' house having dinner and afterwards settling in with People Magazine's after Oscar issue. It's one of my favorite issues of the year.

Inside, I was mesmerized at what a good picture Sharon Stone had given at one of the Oscar soirées. I've seen some busted up pictures of her on the internets lately. You can see her psycho chic below:



It just took me by surprise how good and relatively sane she looked. A big plus was possibly that she didn't look like she'd been stretched like Katherine Helmond in Brazil.


Her picture caught my eye and so I decided to read the short caption and was liking what she was saying about her outfit and her jewelry. That is until she mentioned...Screeeeech!....the rat. Yes, the rat. Actually, it's a rat's foot. An icky rat's foot on a pin pinned to her jacket. Ewwww!

You had me until the rat Sharon Stone. You did.

So...does she not care?...is she nuts?...or...Is she a little bit of both?

I say both.

Mardi Gras!

Another Mardi Gras has come and gone and I did not drink. Kinda sucky, but it was my choice. I almost had a Bloody Mary, but I changed my mind at the very last minute.


I'm kinda liking our new tradition of seeing Zulu across from Covenant House and the police station. I would say it's as family friendly as those stuffy Metairie routes.



Debbie giving good face as Cleopatra (err, Cleopatria), Queen of the Nile.


Deb and MSH and the Homo Haters in the background. Do you see my young doctor in love?

MSH and Lloyd. Lloyd was having fun already. (wink, wink)


Along the way we ran into Geronimo. Debbie couldn't remember his name after being told quite a few times.

He had too many syllables in his name, all of four, so she asked him to shorten his name or give himself a nickname. Knowing Debbie, though, she just started calling him Geo, and then he became just "G". Ahh, Debbie.

My favorite comment echoed about Geronimo throughout our time together with him was,

"Medea's got nothing on her!"

Absolutely. Loved. It.


This lovely lady was flirting with ME. At least I think she was. I was dressed as a doctor, so she asked me if I'd done Geronimo's rack. I said yes, and she asked if I could work on hers. Sure, and it would be on the house. I mean, what else can you say to a person with a nice smile like that?


OK, I cut off her feet, but I liked what she was wearing...especially the beret and that she posed for me. I'm no sartorialist, but I tried.


Like, OK, like it's the biggest hula-hoop ever. Seriously.


This is Debbie and her boyfriend Michael Douglas.

He just kinda looks like him, but his name is really Bart.

Happy Mardi Gras !

Let Me Entertain You

OK, I'm too lazy to write anything of any significance here, so instead I'll entertain you with a picture. I don't think it needs a lot of explanation. I know I've seen this look before and so has Spaces, no?

Who Knew?

I've heard of the Million Man March, but this is something new. My friends and I were definitely not invited.

...and the winner is...

...me!

I won Teacher of the Year at my school. Get out!!

We were asked to nominate people a few weeks ago, and I didn't even bother to nominate anyone because the person I usually choose never makes it to the final ballot. Well, kiss my butt and call me HoolaHay (if you watch ANTM you'll know), my name ended up on the final ballot.

Cut to today when I hear one of my assistant principals start talking on the intercom. I hear her say she has a special announcement, and then I immediately stop listening to her and continue working with my students. It's sad because my students were eager to listen and I just kept going. So, all of the sudden, I hear my name followed by the words, Teacher of the Year, and I just about fell over.

Never in a million years would I have thought this could happen. It truly was just an honor to be nominated, but this is the best. I think this can hold me over till I retire.

R.I.P. Brad Renfro

It saddens me that Brad Renfro died today. It saddens me because he's dead and Britney Spears is still walking around - with a British accent nonetheless.

It's harsh. I know.

Encouraging the Delinquency of a Minor

OK, so today, at the end of the day I have duty at school. I escort students from the sidewalk to the cars that pull up to pick them up. I'm the one in the front of the line and I tell the parents when they can move as soon as a batch of students are safely in their cars. Even though it's not the safest spot, being between two lines of cars with semi-angry parents and their spawn, I chose it because it's the easiest spot. I don't have to deal with behavior problems from kids sitting on the sidewalk.

So, today, I'm doing my usual thing when a parent rolls down her window. The rolling down of the window can be two things: 1.) They're being friendly and want to say HI. *or* 2.) They want to complain about something or someone. Lucky for me, it was number 2.

Mom X lowered the window of her very expensive SUV. She was dressed rather chicly and not ghetto as most of my parents are at times. They tend to confuse ghetto with chic. Although you can have ghetto chic, but that's for another day. I took a guess that she was going to complain about another parent cutting in front of her while waiting in line, but alas I was incorrect. In the few minutes that it took her daughter to get from the sidewalk to her car, she complained to her mother that some teacher had "done her wrong."

MOM: See that lady with the black jacket?

ME: Yes

MOM: She told my baby that she wasn't here to deal with problems of fighting.

ME: Um, well, what to do you mean?

MOM: Some little girl was hitting my baby and she told my baby that she wasn't out here to deal with that kind of thing. (turning to her daughter and then violently pointing at her child with her angry index finger) I'm telling you if someone hits you I give you my permission to slap whoever it is upside their head.

ME: Um, m'am, Let's not do that, ok? Why don't we say that if someone should bother your little girl, that she should come look for me to see if I can help her instead. We don't want to encourage her to hit someone else.

MOM: I tell her not to fight anyone, but if someone hits her, I want her to slap them upside their head. (contradict much???)

ME: I can understand your feelings, but remember fighting is not allowed and if she does hit someone she'll be suspended for fighting.

MOM: (all calm now) OK, OK, (laughs), thank you very much.

ME: OK, try and have a good weekend. Bye.

Is it any wonder kids turn out the way they do? Instead of teaching them the right thing to do, they encourage and praise the wrong.