What Lies Beneath

I am home from work today because of Mardi Gras, not because I'm playing hooky, and I watched Oprah on my local station. A while back my sister mentioned to me that no matter who Oprah is interviewing, she always turns it around and inevitably makes it about her. I was looking forward to watching today's show because Oprah was interviewing Meg Ryan. I really liked Meg Ryan...pre-collagen lips and botox injections. Have you all seen her lately? Ewww!












Anyway, the interview was going on nicely until Oprah asked Meg about fame and the tabloids. Meg went on to say that she basically ignored or did not read what was printed about her. Without skipping a beat, Oprah turned it all around and had to mention how she does not read the tabloids and how it affects her because her own employees talk about what's being said about her at the water cooler.

Honestly! It's not *all* about you, Oprah! I know you make lots of money. I know you are extremely charitable and you've given lots of money, but it doesn't always have to have an undercurrent about you running through it all the time. I know. Your show is called Oprah after all, but still. Give it a rest with your truth!

Two Postscripts here:

• Around the last ten minutes or so of Meg's interview, Ms. O did a piece on Meg's spiritual trip to India (featured in "O" magazine this month, btw). Do I even have to say anymore? Ms. O had to mention her leadership school for girls she is personally overseeing in Africa. Great for the girls in that African country, bad timing for a plug about your charitable work. The moment was all about Meg and not you Ms. O. *sigh*

• The second half hour Ms. O had Lucy Liu and her video about Pakistan and the earthquake that killed many. Lucy Liu was looking like she'd been spared Ms. O's truth, when at the last minute, before thanking her, she began comparing Pakistan's experience with her own personal 9/11 experience and how *she*felt about it. Pitiful.

Circle of Friends

Leave it to me to make a connection with "Project Runway" and my friends. Wanna hear? Here it go.

I was looking at the designers--> Chloe, Santino, Nick, Daniel V. and, yes, even Kara Janx ("Danjah! No Trespassing!" said in a S. African accent...don't get me started on her) and I was thinking that they are extremely talented people who can create something out of a piece of cloth. Then I began thinking of my friends like Vinny, Silly-monkey, Wordsmith and Cecily who can take something and make it into something different.

Vinny can take parts of a bike with a couple of tools (how butchy lesbian of him) and create a brand new bike. He's also able to print stuff on his shirts. OK, maybe, you may think putting prints on shirts is not that hard, but I can't do it. You have to come up with a drawing and stuff. Hard...errr, should I maybe have said Difficult? He's also a talented photographer. Even though this is a button design of his, he can probably put it on a tee.

Take Silly-monkey...please...no just kidding. He's extremely talented with sewing and painting. He's excellent with colors and seeing a whole palette of colors and making them work. He's very good at convincing you that his throwaways are FABULOUS enough for you to take home. So, if he invites you over and shows you a pile of stuff..RUN!

Wordsmith...Gawd! He makes THE BEST chocolate chip cookies. Kid you not! He's also great at picking things out of garbage piles and seeing something in it that no one else sees. He then makes it into something that is wonderfully creative. I'm not saying he walks around looking for garbage, but he'll tell you that if he sees it, he will take it home.

Cecily...What can I say about Cecily? She's fantastic with a crochet needle. She may deny it, but she does a good job. She can knit me a scarf anyday. She even makes great holiday wreaths! ---->


Then I think of me, and as I was telling my sister today(sort of jokingly) that my biggest talents are picking out nose jobs and wigs. Ask my boyfriend MSH. He'll tell you too. I can pick out a nose job from 20 ft away (distance not proven yet). Don't even get me started on wigs! What in the world am I giving back to this world? Donna over there...nose job and she could only wish it was a wig.
What sort of beauty am I providing? (sigh)

Dead Ringers

Every three weeks, without fail, I get my haircut. I love getting my haircut, but not for the reasons you might think. I love getting my haircut because the guy cutting my hair is very easy on the eyes. He's been cutting my hair for about 10 years now. He's almost my second boyfriend! (I can dream, Biotches!) hehehe

His name is Rae. I find it kinda crazy that I just learned his last name about a month ago. I won't say it here, but it's not what I imagined it to be. Rae Hottie, Rae McHot, Rat Hottenstein,...

Anyway, if I were to describe him I would say he's a mixture of Adam Goldberg (Yummy Jewish boy...never dated a Jewish boy) and Eddie McClintock (Scottish? Irish?...let me know). Not bad, huh? I'll show you what I mean...

Isn't he cute!?

Can't you picture him?

I know I can.

Nuts

I'll just say this...two days ago was the first time and hopefully the last time I ever feel my nutsack quickly recede back into my body. I won't go into any details, but it happened because someone at work upset me. This weird physical sensation taught me that what is said to me is not necessarily what I think is being said to me. And if it is, then it's not worth me having my boys crawl back into my body.

The Grudge

I work in a public school, so more often than not, I am surrounded by women. I'm not sexist by any means. I love women...not sexually, but I love them.

What I don't love is the constant state of gossip and drama that follows them wherever they go...at my school. Let me just add that I want to believe that other workplaces are not like this.

One particular co-worker of mine, I'll call her Ballsy, is the hub of all gossip at my school. She and I have been "friends" for a long time now. We were actually very good friends until around this year.

Due to hurricane Katrina, hiring or spending any money at public schools in my parish was not allowed. Because of that, some of our teachers that were not homeroom teachers had to go into classes that had no teachers when school started back up again. Ballsy was one of those teachers. Even though I do not have a homeroom, I was never put into one of those classrooms. While I am eternally thankful that I was not put into that situation, I don't know why I was somehow not put through all that. Well, when Ballsy found out this was going to happen she slowly started transforming into this former image of herself that was there a while ago. She becomes this bitter, constantly griping harpy. I can't stand that side of her.


I felt badly already because she was put into that situation, but then Ballsy kept asking me, in a not-so-friendly tone, why I wasn't being put into a classroom? She had a point, but I had no answer for her. I couldn't possibly help her situation.

I always take things more personally than I should, but her tone and the way she talks to me is certainly not the way she would talk to her other friends. It's my fault for allowing it to happen. I hate confrontation. HATE IT!

I'm upset with myself as much as I am upset with her.