Being There

Melissa McCarthy, the actress, said it best (and I paraphrase), “You are your problem and your solution.”

Have you ever wanted to be something that you thought you would be good at, but deep down inside you knew it just wasn’t going to happen?

I did.

I wanted to be a math teacher. I had such a good math teacher my last two years in high school that I believed I was actually capable of teaching others. Even though I was in denial that I’d made straight D’s my sophomore year in Geometry.

Even in college, I concentrated in math. I never made a grade higher than a C in my math courses at UNO, but HELL I knew I was going to teach it. As a matter of fact, the only math class I made a B in was Calculus for Business Majors.

You know why?

Because I only had to memorize formulas and problems and there was never any actual proving of proofs. The instructor basically gave you the problems that were going to be on the test, but he just changed the numbers.

I suppose I realized I didn’t like teaching math when I actually started doing it my second year at work. I wasn’t very good at explaining it, and I found it all too boring. Experience made me come to that conclusion.

Now, what if I’d never come the realization that it just wasn’t meant to be? Would I be missing something in me telling me to change direction? I knew I didn’t need anyone to tell me so, but what if I looked to others to tell me what my life should be like? Looking to others for solutions is not the way I want to live my life.

They are not me.

I am my own person.

YOU are your own person.