Vacation

Friday, September 1, 2006
It’s official. Today I became Old Aunt Edna. My parents, the family dog- Jade, and I are barreling down Interstate-10 heading to Montgomery, AL to visit my sister and her fiancé. Who would’ve thought that a not-so-old Toyota Camry station wagon would come to remind me of that old beat-up station wagon in the early 80’s film, “Vacation? Here I am sharing the back seat with Jade. She takes up 75% of the seat and I am in the last quarter of it. The A/C in here is a bit dodgy, so it’s not cold, but it’s not hot either. It’s slightly bothersome. I was reading my Anna Wintour unauthorized biography when sleep began to take me away. I slept upright and my head lolled from left to right as the car traveled on. It was then that I realized I was Aunt Edna, except I’m still alive. Maybe, I should stay awake so Aunt Edna’s fate doesn’t become mine. (12;22 pm)

Saturday, September 02, 2006
Today we woke up at the butt-crack of dawn and Melissa picked us up. We headed out to Birmingham on a semi-shopping spree. My parents haven’t seen a Macy’s for months, so my sister was kind enough to take time out of her day to take us out on a field trip.

Dad asked Melissa to please drop off some mail for him the night before, but it slipped her mind and she still had them in the car this morning. She showed them to Mom and me (aw, shit!), and we promised not to tell Dad.

I slept most of the way up there. Put me in a car on a long trip and I’ll sleep most of the way there. I think it keeps me from getting carsick. It’s just happens for some reason-the falling asleep.

After about an hour, we get to the mall and we pull up to the Macy’s lot. We all get out of the car and head inside. I had to pee so bad as usual, so I expeditiously to the bathroom. Actually, we all had to go for some reason. I didn’t know I was that influential.

After our potty break, we split up into two factions. My mother and father went on their merry way, and Melissa and I made our plan of escape to put Dad’s bills in the mail without him knowing.

We quickly ducked out of Macy’s and since Melissa kinda knew where she was going we started the drive into a suburban part of Birmingham. It’s such a beautiful part of the city. You are completely surrounded by green hills and the houses on the hills make it look rather ritzy. It’s not home, but it’s sure nice to look at. They even have small sections called villages that look quite like Stars Hollow in “Gilmore Girls”. Anyway, Melissa finally decided that we should drop it off at a hotel just down the street. Since I was the passenger, Melissa thought that I should be the one to get out. Had I been quick enough I would have told her that she was the one who forgot. She had been the one left with that responsibility. Score another point for baby girl.

We headed back to Macy’s, and for some reason I can’t remember anymore, we ended up in the women’s dept. There, before my eyes, was a mannequin with Angela’s winning design from “Project Runway”. It actually didn’t look so bad. It had all her granny circles and the detailed Empire State Building inspired lining on the inside. Naturally I had to take a picture of me all up in the mannequin’s face. *Hehehe* What was really weird about being in the INC section of that dept. was behind Angela’s design where there were 4 mannequins with fucking cowl necks! I know if you don’t watch the show you wouldn’t know what was so wrong with that, so let me explain.

Bonnie Rodriguez, the team leader for another team, was tortured for making a cowl neck sweater. Neeena Garrrrcia, one of the judges, almost yelled, “Who wears cowl necks?” She had tone for sure. Then Mahmet blah, blah, blah, someone important in charge of fashion something or other at INC, said, “Her outfit was triple LY. Last year, last year, last year.” How dare he say that and then have those cowl neck tunics for the fall season in his dept. Ugh! This show is frustrating.

After what seemed like hours, we finally left Macy’s and headed out to eat lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. I had the meatloaf with garlic-mashed potatoes, and a vegetable medley I can’t remember. Deeelicious! We headed out to DSW, the biggest freakin’ shoe store I’ve ever been in. I had sandals on, so I couldn’t really try any shoes on, but my mother and sister managed to buy some shoes even after having bought some at Macy’s. Women sure do love their shoes!

We finally drove back home and rested for a few hours. That night we went out to a Mexican restaurant. I can’t remember the name so I hope my sister comments and leaves the name. I highly recommend it. It’s partly owned by a man from Honduras. Go Catrachos! J I had a shrimp burrito completely covered in this delicious white cheese, and a beer.

We dropped my sister off, and the drove back to our hotel.

Sunday, September 3, 2006